We go to school or training to prepare for almost every aspect of life, but where did we learn about relationships?

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"I must say that this training was incredible. As a clinician, I have been to numerous trainings over the years. There was something so real and practical about this training. The exercises really pulled at the heart strings and made you really think and process things. Marisol was simply spectacular! I’m so blessed that I had the opportunity to attend. Thank you once again."


- VA Professional

One Biologically-Based Need We Can't Meet by Ourselves

"Bonding" is the combination of emotional and physical closeness with another human being. The deprivation of bonding may be the most unrecognized, untreated, underlying cause of symptoms that are typically addressed as physical or emotional health problems: a sense of dis-ease (which leads to disease), distress, distrust, distancing, isolation, guardedness, constant states of vigilance, anger, fear, and/or sadness, and depression.


Bonding is also the only biologically-based need we cannot meet by ourselves; it takes another person. That means creating and sustaining relationships in which we get our bonding needs met and others do too becomes the most important work of a relationship.

Every PAIRS concept, exercise, and skill is directly connected to empowering that outcome.


Compassionate, empathic, trauma-informed care begins with helping professionals and caregivers themselves.  The need for bonding is as important for those providing care as it is for those who are served.


Helping professionals are better able to help others when they're happy, healthy, and know that "the world is a better place because you're here."


PAIRS Essence of Care training is a healing experience for helping professionals and caregivers that improves the potential to provide the highest level of care to those we serve and those we love.

Learn More About Bonding from Psychiatrist Daniel Casriel

Read the White Paper to Learn How PAIRS Training Has Helped America's Veterans
PAIRS Essence of Care Training

How we speak and listen to each other, especially under stress, is the foundation.

PAIRS Essentials Essence of Care training delivers practical, proven, easy-to-use skills that strengthen the interpersonal competency triad: communications, conflict resolution, and emotional connection.


A proprietary experiential learning process evaluated and refined over half a century builds increasing levels of trust, empathy, and vulnerability that boosts self-worth, self-esteem, and connection with self and others.

Participants learn to listen in ways that encourage and create safety for deeper levels of confiding, understanding, and more potential for growth, healing, and collaboration in our closest relationships.


Communication styles that typically create distance are replaced with models in which it's safe to speak on our own behalf, listen to others with empathy, and use our resources to find solutions to any challenge.

PAIRS Talking Tips

Becoming comfortable with the full range of emotions in self and others

Beyond mastering skills for being understood and making it safe for others to confide, trauma-informed care requires becoming comfortable with the full range of emotions in ourselves and others.


PAIRS training helps participants model authenticity and vulnerability that makes it safer for others to confide underlying feelings and experiences.

Benefits include relieving symptoms of anxiety, stress, and distress, increased clarity, cooperation, and better decision-making that's based on meaningful values and aspirations as opposed to survival thinking.


Practical skills such as Emptying the Emotional Jug, shown below, increase the capacity for empathy, compassion, embracing diversity, and respecting differences.

PAIRS skills empower people to find their own answers and solve their own problems

PAIRS was originally developed as a semester-long course at American University in Washington, D.C. to prepare future counselors with powerful skills to help their clients. PAIRS Essence of Care training brings some of the most helpful skills directly to the public, in essence, empowering people to find their own answers and solve their own problems.


For professionals, the PAIRS model is not about giving advice or guidance, but teaching and modeling skills that help clients find their own answers.



For the public, including singles and couples in any stage of life and relationship, PAIRS skills become a tool box and roadmap to the greatest potential for your closest relationships.


Graduates across the globe have said PAIRS training changed their lives for the better by helping them strengthen the relationships they most value.


From the very first exercise, you'll discover new possibilities and potential that can make living, loving, and serving richer and more joyful.

WE’RE HERE TO HELP YOU HELP AMERICA'S VETERANS

Training to Help You Thrive

PAIRS Essence of Care training is led by Marisol Wetzstein, a licensed mental health counselor, supervisor, PAIRS National Trainer, and subject-matter expert in trauma-informed care. The next training will take place online (Zoom) over seven live two-hour sessions from 3:00PM-5:00PM Eastern on consecutive Thursdays and Mondays beginning April 8, 2021. Space is limited. Scholarships are available from Purpose Built Families Foundation for Veteran Service Officers and other professionals providing direct services and care to America's veterans. Participation meets training prerequisites for those pursuing PAIRS licensure.

Register for PAIRS Essence of Care Training

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